IRAMA HATI SAYA

070807 - tuesday

*ni sesi chatting aku dengan my fren "j"(bukan nama sebenar) kat kelas journalism last year:
please be noted that waktu ni we're both singles..Greatfully, she is now happy with her lover..he's a nice guy..let' pray for her,shall we? :)


M : I'm scare of loosing him
because I had lost once..
So don't want the banana to berbuah two times!

J : It's ok..if banana can berbuah many times, can make cekodok, goreng pisang etc..

M : Ya, but hello...we're not concerning about the banana..
we're talking about win, loose or draw...
I won't let anybody takes him away..

J : Ok, now I know..
So you have to lock him in your heart and throw away the key.
so that he can be with you forever and ever.
Don't ever let him go..
Me? I'm sooooo in love woth that stupid ketam.
I don't know what happen to me?
I don't want to loose him.
I want him to be my ketam forever.

M : So, just ask him to sepit you lah..
He's ketam, rite?
Are you willing to be sepited?
The thing is...I need a confirmation...
Although i've thrown away the key, but what if he has the duplicated one?
He'll soon opens it and let himself go..
Waaa...so scary!

J : Don't be so scared..
For the time being, just get close to him.
Don't reveal all to him.
Maybe someday he'll realize
the truth in you..

M : Ape daa...so jiwang and unrealistic...
I don't want to hope for anything...
But the responses from him are positive...
Why boys like to make girls perasan?
Stupid la...No...not so stupid actually...
Maybe they tried to give signals which seem ambiguous to us.

J : I think that's the nature of boy.
They like to give signals but refuse to tell the truth.
Maybe you can't wait until the graduation day then...

M : Yeah..I used to wait for the graduation/convo to reveal everything...
People said "Slow and Steady WIN the Race"
But see.. I had lost..
I tried to be slow and steady...and eventually I lost the game...
And I think I shouldn't wait any longer...
or else, I'll regret it..
"So tell to someone that you love, just what you're thinking of...If tomorrow never comes.."-ronan keating

J : But, you have to be sure whether he is ready for the relationship or not..
if not, u'll regret...
don't worry my fren,
If he's for you...
he'll come to you sooner or later...
for me, I don't want to chase love
because I'm afraid that things will be the same like it used to be during my relationship with
the stupid fat guy!
But, deep in my heart, I'm truly 'ikhlas' for ketam.
I'm never felt like this with any other guy before.
He's so special.
Even just looking at him, my heart feels so different, I don't know how to describe it.
This is totally amazing for me.

M : I am not into a relationship maa....
All i need is just a humble clarification..for me to have a confirmation...
Come on, we aren't desperate, are we?
But we need a security...security of heart..of feeling..so that we won't be confused by leceh2 thing as love...

J : For me, we don't have to rush for love,
Just wait and see...
love can change.

M : I'm tired of being in this "bercabang" road..
I really need a firm truth..
Love can always change but not ourselves...
Tired heart...sometimes I wanna let it go..
But cannot afford to do so...
Keeps revolving in my mind...
Boleh become BENGONG woo..

J : So, follow your heart and choose the correct path if you feel that way...
Then 'istikharah' first and let ALLAW s.w.t shows and guides you to the right path.
(ceh,ustazah lak)
I know, it's hard to play 'tarik tali'..
I once revealed my love to ******...
suddenly I know that he played with my heart after all this time.
Now I hate to confess everything...
I'm afraid of that happen to me once again.

M : Mine was happened the other way around..
I regretted for not telling him how I felt..
The guy had been taken away in all of the sudden (I'm talking about the former guy la)
And that is why I'm scared of not telling and not knowing the truth..
I'd asked Allah to firm my heart..
I guess HE gave me the answer...
But perhaps I need to be sure...

J : I'm also sad for you..
Maybe you deserve someone else
who is a good person that suits you well..
maybe there's something lie in it.
Maybe Allah has a great plan for you which you don't know yet.

M : Nothing is more mendebarkan than ketidakpastian..
You will never know whether the thing is right or wrong...
You will always live in confusion...
O. poor me...What should I do...

END.

(plz mind the grammar coz it's authentically typed from the original source..)

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